All This Time
by safersights425
Summary: Set Three years after The One with Ross's Wedding. After Ross returns to New York after his marriage becomes shambles, he discovers that life has changed so much. Now returning, He is planning on making things right with everyone. Though after discovering things have changed can He not only make things right with everyone can he make things right with her after all this time?
1. Chapter 1

**Ross POV:**

It's been two years. Two very long years. I had agreed to Emily I'd stop seeing Rachel and give our marriage hope. To give up almost everything just to give it a chance. Two years ago I made that promise and I have regretted it ever since. I think I always knew, even before the promise to Emily and even before saying the wrong name at the alter that it wasn't going to work. We weren't like a married couple and hell we weren't even that close of friends. To be honest we were more strangers. For two years this happened until finally I couldn't do it anymore. "I want a divorce." I uttered one night while we were having our dinner. I was expecting a fight, more than anything. Something like a shock or at least one tear but all I got was "Okay." I think she had given up too. I wouldn't hold it against her.

For the first year we tried to get on. We ended up moving to London and we bought a house in Camden. We tried real hard that first year, trying to work things out with what happened at the wedding and put it behind us; working ways out I could see Ben. We argued a lot that year but by the second year we both had just gave up. Yeah we still argued but not as much anymore. I just lost all care and so did she. A few days later she decided to move back with her parents and a few weeks later the divorce was settled. For most couples it can take months but luckily it didn't take that long.

I just stared at my TV, watching this British TV soap that Emily used to put on BBC; even after all this time I don't know what it's called. I had the TV remote in one hand and a nice cold beer in the other. When did my life get so messed up? I thought now was the time to call home. My real home. The home I neglected for so long but my life couldn't get any worse. How could it?

After a few deep breaths I decided to pick up the phone and diel a number. It was going to cost me a lot for the international call but with how my life is now I really couldn't care.

"Hello?" a rather old but comforting voice spoke from the phone.

"Hey, mom." I replied

"Ross? Oh darling, it's so good to hear from you. How are you?"

"Umm… not really good, Ma. I-I'm coming back." I said trying not to ball my eyes at this point. She may have been a bit Nagy, but she knew me, she was my mum. Even after smothering me with my academic success and the constant nagging on Monica I knew she'd love me no matter what happened so I needed her, now more then ever.

"What?! But what about Emily? Is she really okay with this? Don't get me wrong, this is great news but you don't seem happy. What's made you two decide this?" she questioned.

"It's just going to be me, Mom. Emily and I are divorced". I say quite gravely.

It took her a few seconds to reply to what I had just said. I was starting to think the line when dead until another voice came on only this one I knew would be surprisingly harder to get through.

"Ross? Is that you?" I knew who that was as soon as I heard the first word.

"Hey, Mon." I replied.

"What's this about you and Emily? Mum seems upset, has something happened?"

I couldn't face to tell her yet. She wasn't just my protective sister, she was also my best friend even after all this time. The guilt never subsided even after all this time with what I did especially with Monica. She was my sister and I shut her out for a chance of happiness that was fake from the start.

"What are you doing at mom's place at this time?" I say trying to change topic for a little while. I knew it wasn't going to hold up but I tired anyway.

"It's only 7PM and Mom wants me to help her unpack this new kitchen ware. It's pretty good, she's got this new cook- wait stop changing the subject. Mom seems shocked at something and mention something about you and Emily. What's happened? Is she sick- are you sick?!"

"No, no I'm fine. Well… I'm not fine." I say with disbelief and defeat.

"Why what's happened?"

"…We're divorced Monica. I Filed for it a few weeks ago and got finalised this morning." I said quite fast just wanting it out there.

"Oh my God... you went through that all by yourself? why didn't you call us? I'm your sister" she yelled through the phone.

"I'm okay. I didn't want to worry anyone but I think now I need someone more than ever." I say with tear rolling down my face. I can tell Monica knew I was crying a little. She always does.

"I'm flying out tomorrow." I say, now holding off the tears coming down any more.

"Good I'm going to meet you at the airport. And Ross?" she asks me.

"Yeah Mon?" I replied back.

"You're going to be okay." And with that I hung up and decided to get some sleep.

I decided to pack my things the next morning and leave the house. I left the keys under the doormat where I knew Emily would find them and left the door with my suitcase in hand of my clothes. I left the rest there to be shipped within the next few days; hopefully none of it will get stolen. Once I bought my plane ticket, got on the plain and sat in my seat I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and hoped this long flight to New York would just erase all the bad things from my mind because I knew once I arrived in New York, things were only going to get worse. I had betrayed everyone I left behind. I had betrayed her…

 **Hey guys safer here! Wow it's been a long, long time since I've done a story. I have big plans for this one. I actually got inspired to write this story from a few fan fics I've been reading. Hopefully this one will go well. Im going to be updating daily so stay tuned and things are gonna get interesting . :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Safer here and I just want to say thank you so much for the reviews and following this story and as promised this will be the second chapter and will try and get three and maybe four tomorrows. I would also like to give a shout out to 4evermondler and I highly recommend, if you haven't, to check out his/her (sorry haha!) stories especially if you're a Mondler lover like myself ;) so without further a due, here is chapter 2 :D p.s even though I've discussed this with 4evermondler, I'm still not sure if I should make a Mondler story within this story or make a new story based on a what if situation similar to this one. Tell me what you think ;)**

 **Rachel POV**

I laid in bed, staring at the celling. I was mainly thinking about how much thing have changed over the last three years meant. I knew what today was. I knew it was three years since the worst day of my life. Hope was the worst part in the beginning, wondering if he would return realise it was a huge mistake and that he would return with open arms and that it would be okay or that I would wake up and realise everything was all just a bad dream; it wasn't though. This was reality, I Had lost not only the love of my life but my best friend.

Suddenly I was brought out of my day dream. "good morning, beautiful!" I heard a lovely voice say as he entered with breakfast. Oh what an old romantic he was. "Morning, babe. Oh you didn't have to make me breakfast. It was my turn today" I said with a smile on my face giving him a light push. His name was Dean. Dean Singer. He had really become m rock over the last few years. He seemed to understand me. He knew exactly how to make me happy over everything that has happened in the last three years. He has helped me forget but he has helped me keep it off my mind, helped me not to be reminded of that painful experience. I never told him, I couldn't. All he knows is that I've had a few bad experiences with men and I'm just looking for the right man. Sometimes I really wished about telling him. I did on several occasions but I just couldn't it was too painful. I would tell him eventually but I had been telling myself that for a while. "hey, what's wrong, Rach? Always Dean to point out when I'm sad. If Dean was anything, he knew when things were wrong.

"oh nothing. I just had a hard day at work yesterday."

"ahh don't let it get you down! Work stresses me out too especially when people complain about their make up or their hair or whatever it is they hate but don't worry about it, Babe. If it gets too much then take some time off, there's no shame in it."

"I'll be okay, Hun. Thank you." "Dean was a chef. It was actually because of Mon and Joey that I met him. Joey was working on being in the new TV show The Eight of Diamonds and he happened to be working as the special effects makeup artist for the show Mon knew I needed to get over what happened at the wedding and things just hit it off. I'm glad I met Dean, he was the best thing to come out of the worst possible situation.

"Anyways, Hun I have to go. Have to put a lot of blood on the cast and extras ready for to record the season finally tonight. Joey is really excited about it! But be ready to be in a nice blue dress for when I get back as I've got a surprise for you!"

"wait but I don't own any blue dresses?" to which he left with a wink and a smile. What a charmer. After Monica and Chandler's engagement I moved in with Dean. We had been dating for quite some time by then so I knew I'd be okay with it and it was both reliving and sad to leave that apartment. We had so many different and wonderful memories their but at the same time it was nice to be with Dean.

It was at this point I decided to check my emails. Nothing much. Mainly Bill notices, scams and information from work at Ralph Lauren. I had left Bloomingdales and got a Job at Ralph Lauren and was much, much better and was everything I ever wanted in fashion!

After reading and skimming through most of my emails I look and saw I received an email from Monica which read:

 _Hey Rach_

 _I can't do coffee today I'm sorry. Something came up which was quite important but don't worry everything's fine but I do have something to tell you later and I really need you to listen, Okay_

 _Don't worry about it though as everything is fine_

 _Love, Mon._

That's weird I thought. Monica never usually leaves messages like that. I decided to close my emails and ponder on what Monica could have possibly meant?

…

 **Ross POV**

"I'm just so glad you're back!" Monica expressed with tear filled eyes and happy smiles. In a way it was good to be back. Things had changed so much I wasn't sure if I would be able to come back but Monica's reaction gave me some hope that thing were going to be okay. I hope they were, for everyone's sake.

"Thanks, Mon. it means a lot for you to say that. If you don't mind could you drop me off at central perk? I know it seems weird but I want to go there. I want to be by myself and reflect on being back in New York. I think it would help me come to terms with all especially with the divorce." I knew it seemed stupid now but I needed to reflect on everything. I wanted to take everything in.

"Umm… are you sure? You just got bac don't you wanna come back home? You need rest everyone has missed you and most of them don't even know you've come back?" Monica asked quite seriously. I knew Monica cared about me, more than most but I knew what I needed to do, what was right to do.

"I know, Mon but I'm not ready to face everyone yet. Things have been seriously low for me and I mean low so I think for now I want to take this slow. I want to go back to and start at the old coffee ship where everything happened and juts have one coffee. Don't worry I'll meet you upstairs afterwards."

"Okay. but coffee and straight to the apartment, okay? I'm worried about you and you've only just got back."

With that, Monica dropped me off and went back up to her apartment. Looking into that Coffee shop just brought everything back. The constant chats. Chandler talking about his crazy dreams, to conversations on that couch and just the many complete and loving memories that this place before my shit hit the fan and totally messed up the entire group. I quickly dismissed my thoughts, reflecting on regret wasn't going to help. Not now anyway.

"Hello welcome to Central perk! What would you like today?" it was a nice, young brunette who served me and I had never seen her before. Wow I guess even the slightest things have changed over the years. "Umm high could I get a small cup of coffee, please?" I asked "Sur that will be $1.95 please?" I checked my pockets to find only pounds which was British currency. That wasn't any good. Wow even after coming back I still can't get a cup of coffee.

"umm… sorry to interrupt but it seems you're having trouble paying for that. May I help?" Now that was a surprise. A lot of the time in England if you had no loose changed no one would bat and eye. Hell even before that in New York no one did. Had things really changed that much?

"wow umm… sure thanks."

"Don't worry about it. I've been in that many situation many a time before." He said laughing. This was nice. I seemed to have better comfort in strangers within five minutes then I ever did with my wife in three years. "I know it's not my place to ask, man but are you… felling okay? You seem a bit off colour?" Normally under normal circumstances would have told the guy to mind his own business but I had just had a six-hour flight, I was tired and life wasn't exactly great so what the hell why not sit down and have a convocation with the guy. He seemed kind enough. He must have been around 6 ft1. He had relatively short hair which was styled quite nicely. he had brown eyes with stubble across his face. He seemed nice he was interesting to say the least. Wow things were seeming okay. Maybe life wasn't as bad as it seemed at the moment.

We talked for quite some time. We engaged in typical life affairs. He just asked if I was okay to which I just said I was dealing with some personal problems and he quickly explained how he knows a lot about dealing with personal affairs.

"Tell me about it. Don't worry when it comes to balancing relationships and work and other problems. Hell even suffered a divorce. But I think my friends helped me through it." T

"Actually… I'm currently just settled from a divorce. My sister is taking care of me"

"Holy shit man… I am so sorry. I guess that's why you seem down. I kind of have this problem with myself is I feel the need to help someone who seems down. Most people call it annoying but I just call it being a good person." This man was nice. I liked him.

"yeah well its gonna take some time for me"

"I tell you what you need. You need a guy's night out at a bar. Normally I wouldn't ask a guy I just met to for a drink sometime but I Like you…?

"Ross. The names Ross!" I said. I didn't mind giving my name. The guy was friendly enough.

"Well Ross, I think you, me tomorrow night we should have a couple of beers and just waste away our daily problems, what do ya say?

"you know what? I'd like that sure."

"Great! I know this great bar just a couple of blocks away called 'Anthology' opened last week. Well here's my number and just give me a call with what time your free as I've got work now. You know how it is." I enjoyed that coffee. I was existed but I enjoyed it. I t really made me look up to the brighter side of what life can be like

"Oh-I'm sorry I didn't quite catch your name?" I asked just before he slips away

"The names Dean. Dean singer."

 **DUN DUN DUN! So there you go chapter two is done but don't worry it gets better so stay tuned tomorrow :D please by all means leave a review and follow if you enjoyed it! And tell me what you think on the Mondler situation. Should I make a separate Fic or run it alongside this story? Safer Out!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Safer here. I'm sorry for not sticking to my daily schedule of one chapter a day. Yesterday was so busy with band yesterday. I play drums so occasionally I do have to be places from time to time. To make up for it I will be uploading 2 (that's right) TWO chapters tomorrow so without further ado, here is chapter 3 :DDDDD**

 **Ross POV**

After the coffee at central perk and talking to Dean, I decided to go head up to Monica's apartment. Even if thing have changed as much as it seemed, I would never forget that place. How can I ever forget it? The place that holds so many memories. The very foundation of what kept the six of us together. That was until…

"Oh look! It's a walking fossil!" I quickly snapped out of my discouraging thought to be greeted by a familiar voice that echoed from the apartment. A voice I've been familiar with ever since collage.

"Chandler!" I replied. It had seemed so long since I heard that voice, I could have sworn it was since collage! The last time I saw chandler and even Monica before I arrived back home was six months prior to my divorce. Monica decided it would be a good time to drop by as we hadn't seen each other for a while. It was one of the few times that me and Emily 'got along' as it were, or at least pretended.

I Spoke to Monica over the phone quite a few times, mainly when I got paid. International calls were expensive but I always found the time to call her at least once a week. When it came to talk about me and Emily I always lied and said we were doing fine but deep down I think… I think she knew we were failing at our marriage. Lets' face it, it was going to end at some point.

Chandler I spoke to a few times, mostly if I rang and Monica wasn't there or even just to have that rare chat every now and again but mostly when Monica wasn't at home. Even if we were close from Collage, we had drifted. We all did. I didn't see much of Joey in the beginning. In fact, I only spoke to him once on the phone and that was when the gang, if it still was at that point, was over one night. He wanted to talk about how things was. He was the only one that spoke his mind about the situation about and Emily, about how it was unfair on everyone and I should come home. No one else said anything about it; I knew what everyone felt though. Though after landing himself on a new and big Tv show, that eight of diamonds show, I saw Joey probably more than anyone else in the group. He was in the uk quite a lot because of tours, premiers, even filming. The show was a real hit over in England so he was over quite a lot. It was good to see him and we still remind friends even after all that happened.

Phoebe I didn't see too much. She did come over twice though with Joey who support his career and it was good to see her, but out of everyone I saw in the group, she seemed the most hurt. She never admitted what or how she felt. Even if we talked about family or jobs or whatever it was, I could always see it… hurt. The main source of where most of my guilt came from was leaving all them behind. Especially her…

Me and her never talked once. No phone call, no visits, no skype calls, not even a single email or text just to see how each other was doing. The last time I saw her was that hurt on her face. That… sad, unforgettable face that still haunts me even after so long. I hurt her the most. I drove her away into a hole so large that it would take a miracle to get out of. Id asked myself so many questions over the years and even when I got back. How is she doing? Is her life well? Is she in a relationship? Is she married? How does she feel about me? But most of all, the one question that played on my mind almost every day.

After all this time… was she happy?"

…

Me, Mon and Chandler talked for so long, they were so happy. We talked for what seemed like hours about almost everything with each other. Howe we were doing? What am I going to do now that I'm back and even about Monica and Chandlers wedding. I was so thrilled to hear about the engagement. My best friend and my little baby sister getting married. I know my marriages have failed but that doesn't mean to say theirs won't. In fact, I believe they will last longer than life itself.

"umm… I just wanna know… does the rest of the group know that… well… I'm back?" it took me awhile to get it all out. The mere thought of seeing them all with me back in New York sent my brain all light.

"actually… no. but I've sent them all messages to meet us here. A lot of them are suspicious especially Rachel- "

"ahh…" I responded with a sigh. Chandler and Monica knew what this meant. I couldn't even bring myself to say her name. it was too hard. Everything just comes back when I think about it. I hated myself for doing this to her but… at the same time I thought it was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. How wrong I was.

"How is she?" I asked with a tremble to my voice.

"well… she's doing fine" Chandler said with a smile. Good old chandler, trying to make things seem as casual as normal and trying his hardest to not show how he felt over the course of the last three years. It was very him. I'm glad he had Monica. Maybe that's what go them through it was knowing they had each other.

"She missed you…" Monica followed. "But like chandler said she is doing fine! She now works at Ralph Lauren as an executive and is having a wonderful time there. In fact, her new boyfr…" Monica trailed off. She had a boyfriend. My heart broke a little, but why? I hadn't exactly seen her in over three years and she wasn't going to wait for me. I was married after all. So why did I feel so powerless...?

I put on a smile "Hey guys it's okay. I'm happy for her. She found someone in her life and that's what matters. Now I am absolutely shattered so is it okay if I get some sleep?" It was true. I was so tired from a mixture of talking for so long and the fact I wasn't used to the time zone.

"sure! This is your home now so get used to it!" Monica responded laughing. I'm glad those two have been so accepting of this. I still was unsure if it was because they really did brush it off or if it avoided thinking about the pain I caused. Whatever it was, I'm glad they care. I decided to stare at the ceiling and think about her as I drifted off to sleep…

…

 **Rachels POV**

"I'm sorry, Babe but it seems the director wants to talk to all the tech team about the big shoot tomorrow." Dean replied on the phone. Even if he was a sweetie, it did come t a price. I didn't mind too much though. We both had busy jobs and it was nice from time to time just to have time apart, it felt reliving.

"it's okay, Hunny. Mon needed to talk to me anyway. How about tomorrow?" I thought tomorrow wouldn't be too bad. It wasn't to long before we had a date anyway plus tonight wouldn't have been the best night consider… what happened.

"Oh… I can't. I had already made plans to go out drinking with someone tonight.

Okay now I was really curious. I decided to curl my tongue and press further.

"I… kinda arranged to help someone out."

"Who?"

"A guy"

"A guy?"

"Yea."

"Work?"

"Nope."

"Stranger?"

"Yep."

He decided to pull one of his 'good Samaritan' routines again and decided out of the good of his heart to help someone. He had done it before. He did it with me. Even though I met him through Joey. It was because of him approaching me and trying to cheer me up that started the whole thing between us. I had a bad day. He was there to help me." After what happened with his wife… he needed to help others. Mainly to clear his conscience.

"hmm… fine but we have to have date night at least once this week, okay? And don't flirt to much with this guy alright?" I responded with a cheeky smile.

"Don't worry we'll only make out a little. Bye, Honey!"

Almost immediately after the phone call with Dean, Monica called. I'd almost forgot about the email she had sent me.

"Hey, Mon. I got your email. What's up?"

"Hey, can you come over when you can, it's kinda important?" she asked. Now I was starting to get nervous.

…

As I entered Monica's apartment, I could hear voices which were clear as day of Joey and Phoebe. Now what were they doing here? I was really starting to get nervous.

"What's everyone doing here?" I asked. Things seemed off. First of all, Joey and Phoebe was just as clueless as I was about the whole situation; Monica's hadn't told any of us about why we were here; Monica and Chandler were standing together by the couch as if two parents delivering bad news and the room wasn't Monica perfect.

"Umm… before we start, have any of you got pie? I haven't eating all day?" Joey questioned. Typical Joey to want food in such a serious time.

"In a minute, Joe. This is really important."

"Well you know how we are getting married in a month?" Monica responded

"You're not pregnant, are you! Phoebe interrupted. Poor phoebe jumping to conclusions but it was one of the reason's I loved her.

"No, I wish." Monica responded with Chandler giving a shocking glare. Always Monica scaring him. They were so perfect for each other.

"No, well… I received some news a few days ago about someone I know- someone we all know and well-"

And in that moment. That moment I knew I wouldn't forget, out popped a face. A face I couldn't forget. The face of the person who has been burned in my memory since as long as I can remember. In that moment. My heart both broke and mended together at once.

"Hey guys…"

 **Sorry! Another cliff-hanger. Sorry haha! Well you'll get two juicy chapters tomorrow and will look more on How Rachel and Ross are after finally meeting after all this time.**

 **p.s. I've decided, most likely after finishing this story, to do a Mondler story. I'm not quite sure on what yet but I'll be planning it around halfway through this fic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always, see ya in the next chapter!**


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